Monday, May 03, 2010

I Will Sing, Sing a New Song????

No tune for this one yet, but the words began to churn around in my head while I was practicing guitar this afternoon.

Chant of the Ever-Circling
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots

Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots
Were anathema to mum,
But girlie toys, they held no joys
And just seemed kind of dumb.

I'd rather sink a Battleship.
To hell with Queen of the Prom!
And pop that pop-o-matic:
Play Trouble all day long

Let me at those Robots,
And let me be the blue one.
I'll knock the block off the red one:
Pretend that it's a human.

Don't want to wear this girlie sh*t
Or play with girlie toys,
I want to work in the yard with Dad,
Shirtless, like a boy.

'Cause being a girl means staying inside,
And learning the myriad uses of Tide,
And training for that future day
When the girl becomes a bride.

What if that's the sort of dream
That causes her tomboy heart to scream?
"Sorry, girl, but there's no other.
You've got to be just like your mother."

But I still want to get at those Robots,
And I want to be the blue one,
And knock the block off the red one,
And pretend that it's a human.

Put Barbie on a Battleship
And send her right on down!
Give me pop-o-matic Trouble,
A roll of caps, and a stone.

I don't plan on joining the coven
Of the Easy-Bake Oven.
I'm deplorably green with a sewing machne.
Where the hell's my Barrel of Monkeys?

What d'you mean, I'll not get an Erector Set,
A Hot Wheels Track, or Matchbox Cars?
I want a toolbox and a hacksaw;
Betsy-Wetsy simply won't do.

I may be a girl with a perverse little curl
Right in the middle of my forehead,
But when I'm bad, I'm very bad,
And when I'm mad, I'm horrid.

So let me at those Robots;
I've a burning desire to deck 'em.
Know what they say about humorless folk?
They can't take a joke, so f*ck 'em!

Get me out of these stupid frills
And leave me the f*ck alone
With my Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots,
And my pal who can cuss up a storm.

Suzy Homemaker can kiss my *ss!
I'd rather be taking out the trash,
And raking the leaves, and mowing the grass,
And being a boy like Dad.

Now let me at those Robots,
And let me be the blue one,
And knock the block off the red one;
To do less, it just isn't human!

CP Warner
3 May 2010

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